Okay, my last blog may have been too off-subject. The violations happening to children in custody reminds me of when someone assaulted me. The same lawyer represents Bill Cosby as does or did Piven. It struck a nerve that, even with my incredibly unconventional circumstances, I should have blown the whistle somehow. I mean I told everybody in and around the entertainment industry and told them to spread the word. Los Angeles is a huge city but “Hollywood”, believe it or not, is a small town. Word travels fast. It makes me mad I couldn’t go public to protect others.
Then again I was 23. How much wisdom had I accrued at that age or do any of us? I’ve never cared about being around famous people and I don’t want fame. It doesn’t impress me. I’ve been in many situations where I have been approached by celebrities, so to speak, and I’ve always either turned them down flat, hung out platonically or dated briefly and conservatively but the relationship quickly dissolved. I am grateful for that. Now I release it all to the universe. There’s too much good stuff happening to focus on anything else!
Final Cut is phenomenal. I am a tech novice and they make it really easy to learn. There are tons of tutorials on the internet I am watching and using. I even added our first music to the editing to play with. This computer is frigin incredible and it knows it. Yep. He found the right home.
The coolest part is that Evan Danziger, one of my closest friends since 17, is doing our musical supervision, composition and soundtracking. He sent me the first piece he composed and we are blown away! My friends keep hitting it out of the park. Rachel writes a blog saying the kindest things about me, assisting me to let go and just be as you can see in my face in my profile picture on Facebook. Now Evan is writing amazing music as I knew he would. He hasn’t written anything for me in twenty years. Evan is literally brilliant at music and plays many instruments but, to me and to my tummy when my son was growing inside of it, primarily guitar.
When I was 22, I became desperately ill and was hospitalized for the better part of eight months. I was fortunate enough to have an accommodating room, so friends would often come and see me. They would have their own space enough where when my mom didn’t, some would sleep over.
Evan wrote the most beautiful song for me. It was all about understanding why I was sick from the pressure of the events of my life, but I am strong and I need to fight. That I was loved and needed here on Earth for a purpose. And that he wasn’t letting me go. Yes, he is that awesome. It helped inspire me to push myself harder to recover.
I love him for that and so many other reasons. I call this man my brother. He and his family opened their lives and homes and boats(I miss that one and his dearly departed dad) to me unconditionally. They knew about my family. Holidays would throw my mom off or something else would set off her severe PTSD and I would often need to escape. They were totally cool to me and I appreciate that perhaps even more than I can express. I am truly blessed that while I have had serious losses and hammers to the heart, I have also had many angels like Evan who have gone out of their way their way to be there for me.
So we are obviously very excited to have him aboard the project officially.
The next big step is our Indiegogo Update. When we constructed our first budget, we didn’t understand what is really involved in post-production and seeking distribution. It will take us a while. There is additional footage that we want to add. We need to have entry fees and travel expenses to enter film festivals and seek distribution. Making an independent film is different than a studio produced picture. There’s no “when is it coming out in theaters?” It’s probably not. We have to find places that want to show it first. I’ve been asked this question repeatedly by people I talk to about the film part of the project. There is a mountain of work in front of us. No complaints. We prayed for this. It’s a new experience and has all of the surreality and challenge that comes with that.
Honestly, it’s like starting all over agin. Between the Update and the editing and the idea of the lists of lists that have to be redone it’s breath altering. I need to take a big, slow one pretty often right now. I am thrilled about this process yet overwhelmed. My mind wanders to great inspirational quotes like Winston Churchill’s, “we will find a way or make one.” I love that! It’s exactly how I feel about this project. This is a war, or it should be. We have to fight not only for these kids but train them how to fight for themselves. They are an army of lost innocence that need generals to lead them to the light. People who have battled darkness before and know how terrifying it can be, but how to beat it all the same. Turn a negative into a positive.
We will build on the momentum of our anger at the situation and incredulity at the system behind it to created a beacon of hope and resource for those who need us most. No one needs to grow up unloved or unsafe. Not at this point in history, we all know better. And can do better. Paraphrased from Maya Angelou.