One of the luxuries of this being our blog on our site, is that we can air whatever needs to be addressed without fear of being fired. We are allowed to tangent. Curse. Tell the truth.
Here’s my truth right now, and it’s all good, is that working on KINDRED and spending a lot of time with Rachel gave us opportunity to hash out exactly what we remember about being told about my dads suicide. She accidentally told someone who told me and that’s how we all found out. We wasted so much money in therapy over that mishap, in which Rachel was a manipulated eight year old child. She got blamed for things she had nothing to do with. Happily, our friendship picked up right where it left off and we had some of the realist talks of our lives. We are healed.
So, this year I am feeling a deeper connection to my dad and wishing I had known the real him. It all happens as its meant to, but the heart wants what it wants. Every time I see the annual father daughter dance in my community I am simultaneously elated and lost. They used to make me jealous but I’ve shed being jealous in general.
My dads birthday was two days ago, today is the day he took his life and thanksgiving is Thursday.
This year, I am taking control of my life like never before. That means I can choose how to respond to these anniversaries. And I choose celebrate him. His life was cut so short but he had the tenderest heart. I didn’t choose Foster care because of my parents deaths; those are different losses. But I empathize. I imagine and sometimes those images enrage me. Yet, this experience has brought me full circle in so many ways, and how it came together, it’s hard not to see the hands of fate and God on this. I healed wounds I didn’t realize I still had. I took my next steps toward independence and career goals.
So that is how I will celebrate him. With accomplishment. With doing what I do with all my heart. By honoring his love for me with my love for protecting children. Donations made today will be doubly honored, it’s for him too. I think that is a choice that my sweet dad would enjoying watching. Thank you again Bud. Talk about one vigilant guardian angel! Now help me be the guardian angel for these kids. There are so many, it’s like trying to organize chaos. But we can do this, will do this and again, need your help in every way!
Small amounts go a long way. We are cutting a pitch clip and rewriting our campaign to explain our current needs, so please put the word out!
Have a beautiful Sunday! I plan to:) Maybe I’ll celebrate my dad at the parks too. We’ll see. Everybody is tired from my being away, but we have all week…defiantly going on Thursday after dinner. Ever since I was little, I would picture him behind me on Space Mountain. Laughing and hollering. Think I’ll be doing that myself this year.
Along with purchasing a Mac to edit our footage. Went looking yesterday. Looks amazing! Thank you again to all who helped us! Phase 2, electric boogaloo, pro retina with Final Cut here we come!:)

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