This has been one of the wildest months of my life. Everything is okay, but there was some funky energy that shook up many lives into complete left turns. I’m processing it all while in action, but this stuff is still working out in my head. The miracle that the movie is on still leaves me stunned.

I will fly to Portland on November the 10th for an eight day shoot. This is amazing! I followed through on what I truly believed and mountains moved to make it happen. This is the coolest thing that has happened in a really long time. If you have a dream, I encourage you to go for it. Obviously it would preferably be a positive dream with society reach, but as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else…whatever your dream is, go for it!

Six months ago, we rolled the dice. All we knew was that this was a mission from God and the universe and the worst that would happen is nothing. Then, very early on, we got our wish and in the most unexpected way. We went from complete obscurity to top trending and full funded inside of three weeks. I’m keeping the screenshot. It happened on the birthday of my wonderful mommy who crossed over long ago. Transformed my life.

Then everything got swept out from under us again. I was still sick with some flu related bug that landed me in the hospital for two weeks! My best friend’s husband and my 23 black cat died. There was a suicide of a twelve year old girl who attended my son’s school. I offered my life to my faith to get KINDRED made and took a personal vow to make my survival dedicated to their survival. And I know the universe always balances out, so I accept that. If that’s what it takes to get this done, so be it.

I decided to do things a little differently. I have my tickets, my iPhone 6plus with two cases to keep it safe. And I am doing a make over, something I haven’t for a long time. My hair needs shape, I need warm weather clothes and shoes and my camera equipment. So I asked one of my great, open minded conservative friends in my hood to go shopping and to the salon. For these purposes, I get to have the limited silly fun. I’m making myself over, kinda, hasn’t happened in ages. I rather put the money towards the project. Who am I kidding? I was born made. My style traces to our company logo that includes a picture of me and Rachel in second grade. I’m wearing a blazer even then:) like there was either a nice meal or a horse waiting at my destination.

I have to personally thank a few people that have lit up our world and given us hope that good things can happen to good people.

You know how you don’t forget the kids from the old neighborhood. Well sometimes they are very worth remembering. About ten of our donations came from people we knew from our hometown of North Brunswick, NJ. We are so touched. You took the time to help us and we love you for it. Believe me, already planned a screening especially for all of us at NBTHS. I’ll make them an offer they can’t refuse.

To our one anonymous angel donor; I don’t know where to start. Thank you kind spirit! You have given us one of the greatest gifts ever and it has and continues to change our lives.

Special thanks to the handful of my kin who threw down in any way possible. That’s Keith, Ruthie and my son Ty. I’m doing all of this for you, kid. There are many kids to love but you are the heart of my heart! I love you and am very, very proud of you.

Then comes Rachel. Wow. Nov 10th will be the first time we see each-other since high school. So grateful that I have this woman watching my back. Our talents really are varied but make up what each-other lack. With the level of transparency and bond we share since meeting at age 5. I couldn’t do this project with anybody else. She is the best mother I know, the bravest, kindest, The hero like this topic needs.

Thank you to Shajen, Demian, Kelly and all our friends at Discover the Gift and Equilibrium Entertainment. You gave me a forum to hone my skills and supported me finding myself, my passion and are comrades in arms on taking on Foster care. Shajens book on the subject comes out soon and we are so delighted to have organically arrived at the same intersection. The more attention the better. Thank you my friends!

Now to begin one of the most exciting weeks in a long time! We’re set for the actual shoot. All that comes with a journey of faith. The subject is so compelling, our fledgling production is provided certain allowances. This is the first movie we have ever made. Wow. Let all the powers that be open up to help our cause; these kids really need and deserve it. I’m honored that I get to be a part of something so pure. It’s miraculous!

Pray and wish for me please. I’m still terrified but I cannot allow it to stop me, I have to just work through it. Aside from willing my child into the world, with my conditions were even more important, I have never wanted something more than to make this happen. After a lifetime of heartbreaks, it’s even harder to truly, vulnerably openly commit it publicly. Fully. Unselfishly and I can be quite unconsciously narcissistic.

I ask that nobody in my immediate circle die for a while. I’ve caught my fill for the year. Just positive energy and medical marvel. I have to keep my eye on the prize and be of gratitude that life has a plan and I’m somehow involved.

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